The Ego Issue and How It Effects Us All

The following blog concerns a potentially dangerous issue that faces the RLSH community on whole. If, over the course of reading this blog, you feel that I am talking about you... well, I am. If you feel that what I am saying doesn't apply to you... well, it does. Whether you agree with the content of this blog or not it is information that I feel the RLSH community on whole could benefit from.

If you are an RLSH, then odds are you are very opinionated. I mean we all decided to don masks and take to the streets because of our opinion that something needed to change in the world, right? Exactly, and I'm not saying that being opinionated is a bad thing, but it does have its down side. One big example I can think of is the constant bicker fighting that goes on in the forums and on facebook and any other place that RLSHs congregate. Read more after the break

 Now the arguing itself isn't so bad. If someone says something you disagree with then you're going to express your opinion, right? Well, that alone wouldn't be an issue, but often when someone expresses an opposing opinion, then something else tends to come in to play: Ego. Of course the ego says "I'm right and you're wrong. I do things right and you do things wrong. What I say is right and there can be no argument." The result of this are the epic arguments that can last for days and never go anywhere. No one's ego will permit them to see another point of view or admit that there is the slightest possibility that they could be wrong.

The issues with Ego in this community run deep. To give you an example, I recently mentioned this "ego issue" in a forum and someone actually started to argue with me - Not about whether ego is an issue or not, but over my use of the word ego in regard to it being a bad thing. Seriously, I kid you not. Now of course that would fall more under just being highly opinionated than the ego issue, but it all plays a part.

Now using the forums as an example really serves no purpose other than pointing out the fact that RLSHs have a hard time communicating for long before the opinions come out and the arguments start, but it does point to a larger issue that could have deadly consequences on the street.

Recently a highly publicized incident occurred involving a RLSH that has caused quite a stir in the community. People have spoken out on both sides of the incident and of course the arguments have been epic... with no real give on either side of the argument. I am of course speaking of the Phoenix Jones arrest involving his use of pepper spray in a crowd of people. 

Now I'm not going to get in to the facts of the case and rehash the same info over and over. If you are reading this and are a member of the community, then you already know all about it. Regardless of your personal opinion of how the situation was handled, We should all be able to agree on one thing - something went tragically wrong. Thanks to the fact that there was a cameraman present, it is possible to review the events of that night and study what occurred and use it as a learning tool. We should be able to see where things went wrong and where people should have zigged instead of zagging and make the proper adjustments to our own ways of thinking to ensure that this doesn't happen again in the future. That's how sports teams learn and grow, and we should be able to do the same.

Unfortunately the Ego Issue is causing a problem with this. Where we, as a community, should have stepped up and used this incident to better ourselves, it became a platform to judge and sling snide remarks and judge those doing the judging and layer upon layer upon layer of high opinion and ego. I've heard everything from the race card to the jealously card being used as well as countless insults flying the other way and somewhere in the middle of all that I would hear the occasional actual analysis of the video footage.

Meanwhile, the star of the video has already pretty much expressed that he feels he's done nothing wrong. He did everything per his expert training and would do so again. and will continue to do so in the future.

Ego. 

If you're reading this and you're not pissed off yet, this should do it. If you are an RLSH, then you have absolutely no idea what you are doing. Now I'm not being deliberately insulting here, and I will be explaining the meaning of that last statement, so bear with me. 

There is no training manual for being a real life superhero. There is no sanctioned training facilities, or RLSH governing body. We all go out there with our own ideas of how this should be done and we are all literally making this up as we go. Unfortunately for us, while there is no one right way to do this, there are approximately a billion wrong ways.

The trick of it is, if you feel that your way is the only way, there's no way you are going to change, even if your way happens to be one of those billion wrong ways. That's Ego getting in the way of you being able to perform as an RLSH. Phoenix Jones feels that his MMA training and his action plan are all he needs to be an effective RLSH. This could not be further from the truth. As it turns out, the same thing that caused all of the ruckus on the web sites over the PJ incident is the same thing that prevents PJ from learning. 

Ego.

I've seen non stop discussions about martial arts and health training and learning self defense and finding the right armor and protective gear, but where in all of that does it teach you how to handle the type of situation our friend PJ found himself in? If you go into the forums you will see that one of the common answers given to basic questions involving things like "where do I start," or "What should I do for my costume," is "Train train train!"

You can train in Every martial art out there along with parkour and self defense training and meet with the finest nutritionist out there and bring your body to the peak of perfection - but will you know how to break up a fight without getting stabbed or shot or run over or beat to death with a stiletto heel? No. Oh, your ego will scream at you that you can handle anything that's thrown at you. I mean look at all of your training. But what are the odds that you'll be successful out there on the streets versus the odds you'll be killed, injured or arrested?

If you are an RLSH, then you have no idea what you are doing out there. In light of what I've just laid out, that's not such a gross assumption now, is it? The first thing you need to do is understand how much you don't know and understand that you have a lot to learn. I don't care if you are a newbie or if you've been doing this for twenty years, you still have more to learn.

So, how do you handle a situation like the one PJ fell in to? Well, this is where I start telling you to train train train, but in a different way. I am a security guard by day. In my job I may encounter situations very similar to the one in the PJ video, and part of my training was learning how to deal with this type of situation and many others that you may not even consider as a possibility. Now I'm not suggesting everyone run out and become a security guard, but I would highly recommend looking up police and security training resources as well as medical training.

Regardless of how you may interpret the tone of this blog, I do not presume to be definitive know-it-all. I know more than few and less than most. I'm highly opinionated and fall victim to my ego more often than I'd care to admit. I have simply identified an issue in the community that needs to be addressed.

In the end it comes down to this. Yes, you are very opinionated, and your opinion is valid. Yes, you have a large ego, especially if you've been doing this for a while and others look up to you. An ego doesn't have to be all that bad of a thing, but you should never allow your ego to get in the way of the fact that you do not know everything and you will never stop needing to learn. Once you can accomplish this, then you are on your way to truly being a great hero.